A Lifetime a Legacy
Big Daddy Graham: Always Entertaining
A GOOD FRIEND REFLECTS ON BIG DADDY GRAHAM’S PASSING
Whether it was his legendary comedy shows or hosting a evening of Quizzo, Big Daddy loved to perform.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Lifetime Legacies are an occasional feature here in Sea Isle Times. Special thanks today to Sea Isle’s own Angelo Cataldi for amazingly capturing the spirit of this feature – which is to celebrate the life of someone very special. In case you hadn’t heard, last fall, our very own Big Daddy Graham passed away on Sept. 8. After all these months, it still doesn’t seem possible. No one loved life more than Big Daddy and no one loved Sea Isle City more than Big Daddy. That’s probably why we here at the Sea Isle Times reached out to him the week that we acquired the Times 16 years ago. After all, who could better help us celebrate the love for Sea Isle City than Big Daddy Graham? We, like most of our readers, eagerly awaited each issue to read the rants, ravings and random thoughts of one of Sea Isle City’s most talented and cherished fans. Regardless of how you knew him: whether it was from Southwest Philadelphia, the beach here in Sea Isle, his 20-plus year reign at WIP, his books, his hilarious on-stage performances, or here in the pages of Sea Isle Times – Big Daddy will forever be an enormous part of all our lives. Thanks again, Angelo, for the time and consideration you’ve shown here in remembering our friend and neighbor. Thanks to his family – wife Debbie and daughters Keely and Ava – for sharing your treasure with us. And most of all, thanks, Big Daddy, for the countless smiles that you were responsible for providing to the millions of people in the Delaware Valley. We’ll miss you but we’ll never forget you.
SAVE THE DATE: Sunday, June 5, 11:30am, when Mass will be said in honor of Big Daddy at St. Joseph’s Church.
Big Daddy with his wife Debbie.
I should have known very quickly that Ed Gudonis, aka Big Daddy Graham, was like no other person I would ever encounter in my seven decades on this planet. He gave all of us at WIP ample warning.
As the legend goes, after his very first shift at our station, he stepped out of the studio and announced in his trademark high-pitched screech: “Who do I see for all the free stuff?”
By some accounts – primarily his own – he walked away with a box of T-shirts and hats and key chains that day, and pretty much everything else that wasn’t nailed down in his two decades as the overnight host at WIP. I can attest to the fact that he did indeed love free stuff.
But the truth is, his notorious cheapness was just another way to entertain his friends and audience by creating a persona filled with lovable eccentricities. (He was actually a remarkably generous person. Just ask all of the charities he served over his four decades as an entertainer.) More than once, I called him on this. He never admitted the truth. Magicians never tell their secrets.
As a fan of his show and a friend off the air, I was doubly blessed. I am revealing nothing to his many readers in this space and his legion of fans both via the stage and the airwaves when I say he was an entertainer with no off switch. He was committed to only one goal beyond his unwavering commitment as a loyal husband and dedicated father. He lived to make people smile.
During his popular Sea Isle shows every summer, I know fans who could literally mouth his best jokes while he told them. Even if you knew the punchline, Big Daddy was a joy to behold. He was never more alive than on stage, lamenting his plight as the only man in a family of demanding women or training his wit on a deserving target. (I know this for a fact. He got me many times.)
More than once, I asked Big Daddy why he didn’t follow the path of other successful Philadelphia comics like friends (and frequent guests on his show) Dom Irrera and Craig Shoemaker. He had two reasons. First, his family. He refused to place his career above Debbie, Keely and Ava. And second, he loved Philadelphia with a passion only a notch below his family and friends.
Boogie board in hand on the Sea Isle City beach.
Big Daddy relished being a Philadelphian. He loved telling stories about his days as a teenager sneaking into the Palestra and camping out in the restroom (sometimes teetering on the edges of the toilet bowl to avoid detection) between games of afternoon-evening doubleheaders. At the same time, he would reflect with poignancy on his stoic father sitting at the kitchen table barking out orders or insults while listening to the Phillies on the radio.
After years of wrestling with bittersweet memories of his father, Big Daddy wrote a book and then a stage play about their relationship. It was, by his own description, one of the shortest books ever written, but memorable nonetheless. The play was shocking, both because he was not a playwright nor an actor and because he performed it brilliantly as a one-man show. The stunning ending of the show was the revelation that his dad was a war hero. It was the only time in Big Daddy’s life when silence was the appropriate response.
When I was approached to write this homage, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to incorporate all that Big Daddy gave to Philadelphia during his 68 extraordinary years. He was a singer; surely you have heard his hilarious song parody of the “Action News” theme. He was an actor; he performed shows about both his dad and mom, plus an unforgettable depiction of Oscar Madison in a remake of “The Odd Couple” with his comic co-conspirator Joe Conklin. He was a radio host; I believe he had the best overnight show in Philadelphia radio history. He was a stand-up comic; if you missed one of his Sea Isle shows in the last decade of your life, shame on you. And he was a friend; I have never met anyone who was loved by more people than Big Daddy Graham.
I have thought about Big Daddy pretty much every day since his passing. When I drive into work in the middle of the night, I miss his voice telling a story or sharing a snack. Every time someone famous passes away, I experience his loss all over again. Whenever I share a laugh with his cut-from-the-same-cloth daughter Ava, who has worked on our show for the past five years, I think of him.
At a celebration of his life – appropriately at one of his favorite places, Citizens Bank Park – a few months after his passing, lots of speakers, myself included, struggled to find the proper words to honor a man who defied description, a person who handled life with a mastery reserved for only a blessed few. He handled his difficult final years with grace and dignity, still firing texts to friends with jokes and odd observations right up to the end.
Big Daddy with his family (from left): wife Debbie Gudonis, daughter Keely Boyle and son-in-law Matthew Boyle with grandchildren Lucy and Jameson, daughter Ava Graham and son-in-law Bill Matz.
It was a wonderful goodbye, a catered party with fine music and happy conversation. The drinks flowed freely, as Big Daddy would have insisted. Photos of his amazing life blinked throughout the venue, hundreds of snapshots of a life well-lived. All I could think about when I drove home was how the life of every party, Big Daddy, would have loved that final shindig.
And I think, one last time, I can speak for my friend when I say I really hope his family got a good deal on the spread and the booze.
Ideally, they got it all for free.
Because Big Daddy really loved free stuff.
Read Big Daddy’s article from Spring 2021.
