A Lifetime, A Legacy: Carmel Desiderio

Carmel with husband Leornard J. Desiderio

Carmel Desiderio was delivered into this world by her grandmother on her grandparents’ kitchen table on April 14, 1928 in Newark, N.J. The longtime Sea Isle City resident died at home on April 3, 2024 … just 11 days short of her 96th birthday.

“We called her Mama,” says her son, Sea Isle City Mayor Leonard Desiderio, of the lady who was also affectionately dubbed “Millie” by her friends and “Mrs. D” by folks around town.

Mrs. Desiderio treasured her Italian immigrant parents Constantine and Filomena Ferrara, her son says. During her formative years, she was especially close to her father, he adds.

Constantine Ferrara was badly injured while working on a construction site and could not return to that type of work, Mayor Desiderio explains. So, long before it was common practice, his wife Filomena joined the workforce to support the family. Constantine stayed at home tending to the youngest of their six children, Carmel and Jerry Ferrara, walking them to school daily.

“Mama and Uncle Jerry were known as the ‘Cupcake Twins,’” says granddaughter Carmela Desiderio. “Mama’s father had two cupcakes waiting for them by the kitchen sink every day after school.”

While in high school, the then-Carmel Ferrara worked at Dugan’s, a popular home-delivery bakery. “We got to eat all of the broken donuts!” she told her son with delight.

After high school, she went to work for the Prudential Insurance Company of America in Newark. There, she was named a “section head” who managed a pool of secretaries. In time, Prudential’s leadership wanted to send Miss Ferrara to Minnesota to train workers there. But her parents nixed that proposal.

Life went on … A young love that took root in a study hall at Newark’s Central High School matured when Carmel married her high school sweetheart, Leonard Desiderio, in 1950. The couple settled in Nutley, N.J., in 1953. There, they raised their sons Leonard and his late brother Gerard.

From left: Daughter-in-law, Carmela Desiderio, Carmel Desiderio, Len Desiderio, Grandson Robert Leonard and Granddaughter Carmela Lenny.

From left: Grandson Gerard Anthony Jr., Leonard J., grandson Robert Leonard, Carmel Desiderio, and granddaughter Carmela Lenny Desiderio

Mr. and Mrs. Desiderio enjoyed 71 years of marriage until his death in 2022 at age 93.

Before becoming a stay-at-home mother, Mrs. Desiderio studied at Seton Hall University. She returned to her college studies while in her late-80s and earned her associate degree. “I saw her grades,” says Mayor Desiderio. “They were really good!” he adds with admiration.

“My mom was a hard worker,” the mayor says. “She instilled the importance of hard work and education in my brother and me.” As her boys grew older, Mrs. Desiderio worked part-time at Nutley Savings.

Mrs. and Mr. Desiderio’s exemplary work ethic eventually brought the family to Sea Isle City. Over time, the couple owned various businesses in town, including: the Sea Isle Swim Club, Sea Isle Go Karts, Fun Town Arcade, Lenny’s Penny Arcade, Sea Isle Kiddie Rides, and G’s Golf Course. They purchased their family home on 76th Street in Sea Isle City in 1957, commuting from Nutley weekly to manage their businesses during summers. In 1984, Mr. and Mrs. Desiderio and their sons Leonard and Gerard purchased the Sea Isle Inn and KIX Package Goods and Lounge. The family made Sea Isle City their permanent home in 1995.

“Mama and Grandpa were very hard workers,” says Carmela Desiderio, who is now a third-generation owner and vice president of KIX. When Mrs. Desiderio labored full-time at KIX, a young person who worked there would be chosen to work with her for the day. “We started giving out shirts saying ‘I worked with Mrs. D and survived,’” says her granddaughter.

“My mother worked doing little things at the family businesses until a week or so before her passing,” Mayor Desiderio says. “Mom liked to keep a sharp mind.”

Honoring that goal, Mayor Desiderio routinely quizzed his mother in multiplication tables and capitals of U.S. states. Mrs. Desiderio enjoyed coming up with answers. Plus, “she knew current events,” he adds. His mother watched television news to the point where her son sometimes wished she didn’t.

“I talked to my mom every day, even on vacation,” Mayor Desiderio muses with a sigh.

Now the mayor reminisces about his mother’s words of wisdom in phrases like “Do the right thing” or “Go with people who are better than you, but pay your own way.” And he talks about how Mrs. Desiderio was “very generous in a quiet manner” and “not flashy.” She was a religious person, he adds, a Catholic who prayed daily and enjoyed attending Sunday Masses.

“Mama loved feeding the birds. She always said they talk to God,” Carmela Desiderio recalls. “On the way to and from the doctors, we said a prayer outside of St. Joseph’s Church.”

Carmel Desiderio, granddaughter Carmela Lenny Desiderio, and Leonard J. Desiderio before Carmela’s Senior Prom (OCHS, 2016).

From left: Len Desiderio, Michael Faust, daughter-in-law Carmela Desiderio, friend Pattiann Ponchitera, Carmel Desiderio, granddaughter Carmela Desiderio, friend Jessica Lynch.

Mrs. Desiderio kept the longtime family tradition of attending the annual celebration of the feast day of St. Gerard at St. Lucy Church in Newark, which her grandchildren attended with her, Carmela Desiderio notes. “We also celebrate Mama’s, my mother’s [Carmela], and my name day during the celebration of Our Lady of Mount Carmel at St. Joseph Church in Hammonton, N.J.” Mrs. Desiderio attended both of those events in 2023, her granddaughter notes.

“My mother cared about people,” says Mayor Desiderio, before reminiscing about Mama’s “long hellos” to her friends as she walked the aisle to receive Holy Communion in Sea Isle’s St. Joseph Church. Those hellos were sometimes so long after receiving the sacrament that she delayed the organist, who kindly kept playing until Mrs. Desiderio was seated, he adds.

Carmela Desiderio treasures the “girl time with Mama” that she and the family dog Bruno enjoyed during daily morning visits with her grandmother. “She was a loving, caring grandmother, always there for us,” says Carmela Desiderio, speaking for Gerard Desiderio Jr., Robert Desiderio, and herself. Bruno apparently felt that love, too. When Mrs. Desiderio and her granddaughter were on the street with the eight-pound, fawn colored, masked Shih Tzu pup and someone greeted them, “Bruno protected Mama,” Carmela Desiderio recollects.

Her granddaughter describes Mrs. Desiderio as being “very fashionable,” a woman who “always dressed to the nines” and confirms that her grandmother could often be found shopping at Chrissie’s Boutique on Landis Avenue in Sea Isle City.

Carmel and Leonard J. Desiderio at the facility in Cape May Court House named for their son.

Len Desiderio and his mother, Carmel Desiderio, when he was elected Mayor of Sea Isle in 1993.

Mayor Desiderio with his parents.

More recently, “Mama was amazed by the practice of online shopping,” her granddaughter says. Carmela Desiderio helped her 95-year-old grandmother navigate online shopping by ordering clothing that Mrs. Desiderio had chosen there. “Mama could barely believe it when the package arrived at her door!” Carmela Desiderio says in wonder.

“We’ve been taking care of Mrs. D for a long time,” says Chrissie Ternosky, the seasoned seamstress who launched Chrissie’s Boutique in 1984. “Mrs. D always had a flair. She was hip and the clothes made her complete in the styles that she chose.” Not only that, Mrs. D knew clothes and how they should fit because her brother, Nick, was a pattern maker who sometimes used her as a model, Ternosky explains.

“I found Mrs. D to be delightful, entertaining, and full of life,” Ternosky says. “I wanted her to look her best because I loved her.”

The outpouring of condolences received by the Desiderio family suggest that plenty of other people loved Mrs. D, too.